Dear Carter

Dear Carter,

A few nights ago, Daddy and I had a conversation about beliefs. We talked about what we were raised by your grandparents to believe as children, and how some of those ideas have changed as we have gotten older and had life experiences of our own.  We talked about how some of those ideas have stayed the same, and which of our ideas we would like to pass on to our children. We talked about the ideas that we have in common and those that are very different from each other’s.

Someday you’ll have to ask Daddy about his convictions. For now, I’ll share some of mine with you:

• Be kind — to yourself, to other people, to animals, to the Earth. I know. This is super general and kind of vague. It’s an umbrella thought that covers a lot of other ideas that I would have loved to impart to you. Things like helping those less fortunate than us, being vegetarian, and adopting animals.
• Be happy. Often, being happy is a choice. You will meet people who choose to be angry or mean or just plain grumpy. But life is better when we choose to be happy! The world looks prettier, your relationships will be better, and smiling and laughing are good for your body, mind, and soul.
• Be open minded and accepting of people who are different from you. They may look different or make different choices or love differently than you do. But we accept them for who they are and love them because they’re all people, just like we are.
• Learn. Never stop learning. Your mind is a sponge. You can try new games and hobbies. You can always learn more about the career you choose. You can learn new philosophies and doctrines. Your life and the lives of those around you will be enriched if you continuously pursue higher knowledge. You can learn almost anything on YouTube nowadays. I taught myself to knit by watching videos!!
• Be creative. Our world was built on creativity and ingenuity. Inventions and art and even science come from humans who are willing to think outside the box and try new things. Plus, it’s good for your mind and soul to think creatively. I don’t claim to be a master of anything, but I’ve dabbled in music, art, and writing for my whole life. And it’s made me a better person.
• Be forgiving. There will be conflicts in life. It’s inevitable. But forgiving others and being willing to move forward from conflict and learn from it is how we progress our relationships and one of the main reasons we have evolved into higher beings.
• Be willing to change. Be flexible. What good is learning and being open minded if you aren’t willing to adjust your thinking? This doesn’t always apply, because we should also stand up for what we believe and for what we know to be right. But we aren’t always right. And when we learn that we are wrong about something or that there is a better way to approach something, we should be able to change. Life is constantly bringing us new challenges and ways to be better people. But we must not be so rigid in our thinking that we miss opportunities to be better or make others’ lives better.
• Share. Knowledge, wealth, smiles, food, burdens. Life is better and easier if we give and take.
• Last and most important of all, LOVE. If I could sum up my convictions into one word, this would be it. It’s interwoven into all of the other things I mentioned. Our hearts are capable of so much love. And they can expand infinitely! What a gift, this emotion and act of love. Sometimes love will hurt like hell. Like when you had to leave. But it’s always, always, always worth it. Love wins.

I kiss you.
And I love you beyond words and forever, my little one.

Mommy