Like father, like son

Dear Carter,

Your dad and I didn’t get a chance to know you for very long. You were with us for just 111 days. You were starting to show us your sweet, funny personality — smiling, cooing, sticking out your bubblegum tongue, and loving looking at your handsome self in the mirror. It makes us sad that we won’t get to find out what else you would love, or hate, or giggle at. That we will never know what makes you mad or proud, what songs would make you dance, what your favorite books would be. But I can tell you that you are like your amazing father in many ways.

  • You’re brave. You faced your NICU stay unflinchingly. You soldiered through countless heel sticks, multiple IV sites, exam after exam. You boldly faced coming home with your nervous first time mom. You met new people without fear. Your dad is like this too. He faces new situations so bravely, so steadily that he makes me calm.
  • You’re funny. You made us laugh all the time! Your pout face, your little cry, your seemingly-on-purpose sabotage of fresh diapers. What joy you brought us. Daddy is funny too. It’s one of the many things I love most about him. He makes me smile when he dances, when he makes jokes, when he teases me.
  • You’re smart. You learned things so fast. From how quickly you learned to nurse after my milk came in, to how you rolled over for the first time at just 5 weeks old, you amazed us with your bright mind. Your dad is so smart, son. He can fix almost anything. He has innovative and original ideas and he remembers EVERYTHING.
  • You’re sweet. You loved being cuddled and held. You were happiest when you were being showered with love. Your dad has a sweet side that he shows with thoughtful gifts, kind words, and acts of service.
  • You’re big and strong. You weighed 6 pounds even though you were almost 6 weeks early. You gained weight so fast and grew so big. Everyone loved your double chins, your round belly, and your squishy cheeks. You were holding your head up so early. You squirmed your way to the top of your incubator in the NICU. You rolled over early. You liked to stand on your feet and jump while we held you. You got that from your dad. He has muscles on top of his muscles. He can lift things that one man shouldn’t be able to lift.
  • You’re bold. You made a grand entrance to the world almost 6 weeks before we thought you would come. Dad is bold too. He has an infectious, loud laugh and a big personality.
  • You’re so handsome. What a beautiful boy you are. EVERYONE said this about you. You had the most perfect, heart-shaped lips and the deepest, darkest eyes. I could  stare at you for hours, just like I can stare at your dad for hours. He’s the most handsome man I’ve ever seen. You got your lips from him, and your regal nose. Your fingers tapered just like his do. I’m a lucky girl to have such a handsome husband and to have made such a beautiful baby.

You and your dad have blessed my life endlessly. I’m so thankful for both of you. I know Daddy would have taught you to be a good man. A man of integrity. A man of purpose and faith. He’s so proud of you, just like I know you’re proud to be his son.

I kiss you.

Love you forever,

Mommy

One thought on “Like father, like son

  1. Katie, I don’t know if you remember me but I worked with/for Steve for years. My heart is breaking for you. There are lots of questions that we won’t ever get answers for but God is in control. That doesn’t make us feel better but we have to keep our faith. My baby died of SIDS on 1 Jan 85 and it still lives with me every day. There’s so much that I want to say to you but not much room here. It’s ok to grieve and grieve in your own way. God knows we’re human. Your dad has my number if you ever want to talk or anything that you might need or want. People say that they can’t imagine losing a child; that’s the hardest thing in life a person will ever do! I love you and your family and I’m here to help in any way that I can.

    Like

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